Best Mom Jokes

Hey there, fellow joke enthusiasts! Welcome to our Mom Joke Page, where we celebrate the art of cheesy humor and pun-tastic punchlines. Get ready to roll your eyes and groan with delight as we share some of the best mom jokes around. These jokes are so bad, they're good!

But before we dive into the laughter, let's take a moment to appreciate the moms out there. They're the real MVPs, always there with a hug, a listening ear, and of course, a cringe-worthy joke to lighten the mood. Moms have a knack for making us laugh, even when we don't want to admit it.

So, without further ado, here are some mom-approved jokes to brighten your day:

1. Don’t be so hard on yourself; the mom in ET had an alien living in her house for weeks and didn’t notice.

2. As a mom, I’m no longer a snack. I’m a Happy Meal. I come with toys and kids.

3. Motherhood has shown me that you don’t need fun to have alcohol.

4. Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

5. “It’s spicy” is the universal mom code word for “I don’t want to share.”

6. Some days you question your parenting. Other days you have to question your child’s childing.

7. My kids can never make fun of me for teaching me how to use my phone. I taught them how to use a spoon.

8. How kids say goodnight: “I fed the dog, and now he’s making a funny noise.”

9. Good moms let their kids lick the beaters. Great moms turn them off first.

10. Having a weird mom builds character.

11. Being a mother of a teenager is finally understanding why some animals eat their young.

12. The fastest way to spread news isn’t on the internet. It’s by telling your mom.

13. Nothing is truly lost until Mom can’t find it.

14. Ever heard of a job that requires no experience, gives no training, pays nothing, and you can’t quit? That’s motherhood. Oh, and people’s lives are on the line.

15. Motherhood taught me just how far I can let myself go and still be okay with it.

16. Motherhood means that half the time I feel like I’m running an asylum, and the other half I feel like I belong in one.

17. Mommy doesn’t have a favorite child—you all annoy me equally.

 18.Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard.

19. What’s the fastest land mammal? A toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.

20. “After a long day, my favorite thing is to think of something for dinner that everyone will eat.” —No mother, ever

21. I’d love to be a Pinterest mom, but it turns out I’m more of an Amazon Prime mom.

22. Showering as a mom should be an Olympic sport: Everyone’s yelling your name, you have to beat the clock, and you rarely win a medal.

23. I hate when I’m waiting for Mom to cook dinner—and then I remember I am Mom.

24. I live in constant fear of having to share a “fun fact” about me.

25. I would like to officially apologize to my toddler for opening her granola bar from the top instead of the bottom. I don’t know what I was thinking.

26. Mom’s casseroles come in two sizes: not enough and enough to feed an army with leftovers.

27. Have you heard the urban legend about what happens when you scream “Mom” three times in the shower? A nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.

28. I love all my children equally. Except for the one who sleeps. I love that one more.

29. Mom’s recipe for iced coffee: Have kids. Make coffee. Forget you made coffee. Put it in the microwave. Forget you put it in the microwave. Drink it cold.

30. I love my kids. Not enough to flip the chicken nuggets halfway through cooking, but I love them.

31. Mom sleep: the state of rest where your eyes are closed but you can still hear everything your kids are doing.

32. “Look at me, Mommy!” is the toddler equivalent of “Hold my beer.”

33. Kids sure do make a lot of plans for people who can’t drive themselves anywhere.

34. What did Mommy spider say to baby spider? “You spend too much time on the web.”

35. Science teacher: “When is the boiling point reached?” Student: “When my mother sees my report card!”

36. What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy’s bed? Two children jumping on mommy’s bed!

37. Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.

38. Why do Mothers have to have two visits to the optometrist? Because they also have eyes in the back of their head.

39. Why did mom get a plate of English muffins on Mother’s Day? Her family wanted her to feel like a queen!

40. Why did the bean children give their mom a sweater? She was chili.

41. Roses are red, violets are blue. My mom jokes are funnier than you.

42. Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day? So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom.

43. Why did they have to rush the mommy rattlesnake to the doctor? She bit her tongue!

44. What sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars.

45. Everything you do is so mom point.

46. What three words solve dad’s every problem? Ask your mother.

47. What do you call a mom who can’t draw? Tracy.

48. Why did the boy put the Mother’s Day cupcakes in the freezer? His sister told him to ice them.

49. What kind of coffee was the alien mommy drinking on Mother’s Day? Starbucks.

50. Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? Their kids have to play inside!